Heart ache that just wont subside

So here I am again.... I had a surgery done on dec 11th where they were supposed to have gone in to look around and also take away some of the scar tissue to ease some of my pain. To my surprise the dr only looked around and closed me up. He later explained to me that it was a mess in there and there was nothing he could do. He wants and says i need to get a hysterectomy :(
Reason behind it is because I am on Lupron and have been for 2 yrs straight and he doesnt want me on it any longer. But stopping the Lupron would mean my period comes back and my period causes me to have kidney failure because the endo has attached to my kidneys. So the only way around this is to have my uterus removed. Only problem with that is that I do not have children. :( Always wanted one, Im great with them but now it seems that dream is drifting farther and farther away.
Today I went back to the dr and he said hes ready when I am ... to do the surgery. he explained he has to open me up for this he can not do it thru my belly button cuz its too dangerous. the endo is attached to my reproductive system, my kidneys, my ribcage, my gall bladder, my intestines and god only knows where else. Its completely taking over my body as well as my life. I cant sleep, I eat cuz i have to, I cry ALOT, I dont work anymore, this is the longest I have concentrated in a long time, and now I have all these meds I have to take.
Speaking of meds, I have been taking vicodin for the chronic pain for years straight. Today I was told that i can keep taking the vicodin but they are also trying something more long term . its called oxymorphone also known as OPANA. I know nothing regarding this medication only that it is another controlled substance and it is an opiate. I was wondering if anyone that reads this knows anything about that med? Got any good stories to tell me? bad stories? side effects? opinion on if I should try this or not? anything would help me right now since i cant really concentrate, or even work on this myself.
Sisters... my heart hearts. The emptiness I feel inside is scaring me. I dont understand why everyone keeps telling me that God never gives u more than u can handle and yet I am here feeling like I cant fight anymore. I feel like my mind is ready to shut down. So I think that God may not have forgotten me but I think he threw this at me and went on to take care of the world and it has been overlooked that I can NOT deal with this. This cross is harder and harder for me to carry on my own. So I ask my sisters to help me at this time. I dont want to give up the fight. I dont want to lose my will to live but it is slowly fading. I know someone out there has felt like this or feels like this. Please someone i ask you to save me or at least try. I am sinking fast and cant take the emotional strain this has on me. I hope you are all  well... and i also hope u all have a pain free new year... thanks for listening sisters!!!